Bellesa Branching Out Into ... Tacos?

LOS ANGELES—Female-powered adult brand Bellesa issued a press release today announcing that it plans to venture into an entirely new business sector with the launch of its own taco chain, named (what else?) Bellesa Taco.  Indicating that the chain would kick off with locations in Brooklyn, Los Angeles and Montreal, the announcement quoted company CEO Michelle Shnaidman as saying, "When Bellesa launched Bellesa Boutique in 2018, our trademark merch was a T-shirt that said: 'Tacos, Orgasms, Social Justice.' At Bellesa, we call these: The Sex Positive Holy Trinity. It wasn't a matter of if we opened a taco chain, but when." The press release went on to explain that, "At Bellesa Taco, patrons can make their own tacos or choose from a menu with items named after some of Bellesa's favorite sex positive queens—such as the plant-based Crispy Teigen, the Lady Gaga's Meat Dressed Quesadilla, the Beyonce 'If You Liked It Then You Should Have Put Some Guac On It' Burrito, and our personal favorite, the Ariana Grande Thank You Next Taco Combo (which is basically just unlimited tacos because let's be real, you're a bad binch who deserves as many damn tacos as you so please)." The mascot for the chain, it further noted, "is a woman in her late 20s watching Bridgerton on her couch, braless in an oversized hoodie." As a cross-promotion, the announcement said, Bellesa Boutique is offering some of its bestselling sex toys at 25 percent off using the code TACO. Items available under the deal include the BuzzFeed AirVibe, Aurora by Bellesa and the Luvli Ditto 2.  (Ed. note: We were truly getting intrigued about giving Bellesa Taco a try until we remembered that today is April 1.)