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February 01, 2016

TitanMen Offers Cool Million to Former Illinois Rep. Aaron Schock

CYBERSPACE—Fans of The Daily Show will no doubt remember Aaron Schock, the Illinois congressional rep who twice came in for a satirical drubbing by former host Jon Stewart over his lavish spending on office décor and adventure tourism. In the first segment, Stewart’s team poked fun at Schock’s Instagram account, noting that "If this Congress thing doesn't work out, shake it off, because you would obviously make an awesome travel channel host." The show again covered Schock’s woes after he resigned, noting that his interns were the real victims because they “will no longer be able to work and travel with a fit and social media-savvy member of Congress.” Now gay adult studio Titan Media has also taken notice of the former congressional representative, promising to pay off his outstanding legal debts—at least up to a cool million—if the studly Republican will agree to an exclusive contract to star in gay porn movies. “TitanMen has a history of signing iconically handsome men with both brains and brawn, and Aaron Schock fits that profile to a ‘T,’” said TitanMen Vice President and managing partner Keith Webb. “Despite Schock’s scandal over allegedly misappropriating campaign funds, he has so much more to offer our fans. What we’re offering is a win-win situation, giving him the opportunity to break free and come out in a whole new world.” What makes Schock worthy of this Titan-ic offer? The buff pol stands 5 feet, 8 inches tall and weighs in at 165 muscular pounds. His six-pack was featured on the cover of Men’s Health magazine, as well as details of his daily workout, which includes 60 to 75 minutes of strength training followed by a five-mile run at 6:30 a.m. And of course Schock is also adept at social media, so fans would be able to look forward to a barrage of images featuring the handsome, clean-cut 34-year-old. An article on the TitanMen blog points out that if Schock agrees to join the TitanMen family, he will be in good company. Exclusive performers signed in 2015 included Matthew Bosch, Dallas Steele, David Benjamin and Eddy CeeTee.

 
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