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July 09, 2015

America Needs the Sex Education Penis

OSLO, Norway—There's no question that generally speaking, American school kids get some of the worst sex education in the civilized world. Congress just passed a Medicare "doc fix" bill that added $25 million for abstinence-only sex "education" to the $30 million it threw at the nostrum in the 2012 budget, even though abstinence-only programs have been shown to be worthless in either preventing teen pregnancies or reducing the spread of STDs. But hey, guess it's better than the $176 million that George W. gave the programs during his last year in office. So maybe American educators should take a tip from the Norwegian sex education charity (!) RFSU, which recently employed the ad agency Involve! to try to convince Norwegians that using condoms is a good idea, since condom use in Norway is lower than in any other Scandanavian country, and Norwegians are contracting chlamydia at the rate of 23,000 per year and have a skyrocketing STD rate. So Involve! hit on an idea: It hired 19-year-old Philip van Eck to dress in a giant penis costume and hit the beaches, handing out literature and "ejaculating" gold-toned confetti on unwary bathers. "Sex should be fun, exciting and a little naughty. We wanted the campaign to reflect that," said Pernille Berg of Involve!. "The campaign found favor and people understood the humor in our message, although many, especially those over 30, thought the campaign was both banal and idiotic." Involve! sent van Eck to several beaches around the country and produced a short film of people's reactions to confronting the giant penis—and we do mean giant: van Eck is 6'4", and was chosen because he was one of the few applicants who was tall enough to fit into the costume. "I thought it was hilarious. If I can do a good thing for others, just by being a dick, there is nothing better," van Eck told Norway’s Tønsberg Blad newspaper. "[But] the filming was not unproblematic, as passers-by wanted selfies with the giant penis. Suddenly, lots of people wanted to touch the penis and take pictures with the penis. I almost felt harassed." If van Eck was overwhelmed posing for selfies with Norwegians, think how much "fun" he'd have on the beaches of Corpus Christi, TX; Mobile, AL; Gulfport, MS or Miami!

 
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