Religious Conservatives Protest Jesus—'Black Jesus,' That Is

JESUSLAND—Leaving aside the question of whether a person named "Jesus Christ" ever actually existed, if there's one thing that should be clear from the Bible and just about every other Christ story ever told, it's that Jesus was probably black, or at least dark-skinned. After all, he allegedly was born in the Middle East, where darker skin mostly is (and most certainly was) a way of life. So the question now is, what motivated the ultra-religious American Family Association (AFA) and its bastard stepchild One Million Moms (1MM) to send out emails warning parents that Cartoon Network was about to begin airing a new live-action show during its late-night "Adult Swim" segment titled Black Jesus? At least part of their problem stems from their claim that Jesus, besides being black, will be portrayed as "a profane, pot-smoking, alcohol-drinking character in the impoverished urban Compton Gardens," not the clean, tidy, aloof and white Jesus that populates all modern Bible stories. (Also, isn't Compton Gardens in Isadore Hall's district? What do you suppose Black Jesus thinks about condoms?) In any case, if Jesus was a real, living individual who grew up in poverty and consorted with the region's riff-raff—after all, he allegedly threw the money-lenders out of the temple, right? And said it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for the rich to get into heaven?—is it really likely that he never said the ancient equivalent of "shit" or "fuck" at any time in his life? There is a good chance he didn't smoke weed, since it really doesn't grow nearly as widely in that region as it did in the '20s and '30s on the sides of American roads, for example—but is it likely that he never took a sip or two of sacramental wine—you know, the stuff that they offer sips of to people taking communion? If anything, Black Jesus depicts a more realistic Jesus than anything one can find in today's mainstream churches. But no; the AFA is stuck in the cleaned-up, modern-day version of their savior, decrying, "The foul language used in the trailer, including repeated uses of the Lord's name in vain, the f-word and the s-word is disgusting. In addition, there is violence, gunfire, drugs and other inappropriate gestures which completely misrepresent Jesus." Not only that, but as far as AFA and 1MM is concerned, Black Jesus is just another example of their latest meme, the "war on Christians": "Adult Swim is not ridiculing any other religion and wouldn't dream of mocking Mohammed or Muslims, but has no problem denigrating Christians." Guess what, geniuses: Jesus is the iconic figure for most Americans, and it's just that sort of "iconicity" that makes him a perfect subject for satire, which Black Jesus probably is. (We admit we've only seen the trailer, so we don't know for sure.) So of course, they're calling for Cartoon Network to pull it from the schedule before it debuts on August 7. "The garbage that passes for entertainment continues to disturb us," said AFA president Tim Wildmon. "Even the three-minute trailer was too vile to watch, with multiple uses of the f-word by the actor portraying 'Black Jesus.' Christians and anyone who believes in respecting faith must come together to make sure this program never airs." We can't help but think that maybe part of what's worrying the AFA and 1MM is a study recently published in the journal Cognitive Science (subscription required) which found that young children who grow up in religious households and either go to church regularly and/or attend parochial school are much less able to distinguish fact from fantasy. Anyway, the trailer for Black Jesus can be found here. Check your local listings from broadcast times and channels.