CBS Taking No Chances With a Nip Slip at Super Bowl 50

SANTA CLARA, Calif.—Remember Janet Jackson? Remember the 9/16 of a second that you got to see her tit during the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show? Remember the incredible persecution of that reveal that lasted a full 8 years, through the FCC's attempt to levy a fine of $550,000 on 20 CBS-affiliated TV stations for airing that incredibly brief nip slip—the maximum fine allowable under the law at that time? Remember how the Third Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals overturned that fine, ruling that in levying the fine, the FCC had arbitrarily overturned its previously stated policy that "fleeting instances" of indecent speech were not actionable by the agency? Now, remember how the FCC (under President W) actually appealed that ruling to the U.S. Supreme Court, and how the Supremes sent the case back to the Third Circuit for reconsideration in light of another horseshit "indecency" case? Remember how the Third Circuit once again ruled that the FCC was full of shit (though using much kinder language), and finally, in 2012, the Supreme Court denied certiorari to the FCC, meaning that the Third Circuit decison was the final one on this should-never-have-been-brought-in-the-first-place case? Well, apparently CBS and the NFL remember that tit, er, case all too well—which might be why, according to TMZ.com, the network has banned an incredibly tame commercial by New York City's Scores strip club for its ScoresLive.com website from being aired during Super Bowl 50. "The network fired off a letter saying the Scores ad 'didn't meet the standards of the NFL'," TMZ reported, adding that, "We got a copy of the NFL ad guidelines and along with firearms, contraceptives and gambling-related ads—companies featuring 'nude or semi-nude performers' don't make the cut. "The spot is totally PG, by strip joint standards," TMZ correctly added, "but CBS is playing it safe." Actually, the commercial, which offers one-on-one online interaction with strippers, is pretty safe by any standards except perhaps those of your local church social—but you can see it for yourself here. So check it out and decide for yourself ... whether CBS is being, as they say in the vernacular, a "fucking pussy"! Pictured: A screen grab of the "sexiest" image in the Scores commercial.