Religious Right Gets In Bed With Russian Tyrant

JESUSLAND—Didja know that things have gotten so bad here in the good ol' U.S. of A. that Religious Right icons like American Family Radio's Bryan Fischer are actually advocating that we look to Russia on how to handle gays and dirty talk? And don't get us started on how Russians are better capitalists than we are—though, of course, not as good as Jesus was! But first, a primer on what Russia's doing these days about gays. For one thing, although most people are aware by now that pro-gay "propaganda of non-traditional sexual relationships" and parades are verboten, and that same-sex people are forbidden to be seen holding hands (much less kissing) in public, it's gotten far worse over the past year. For instance, while it used to take a judicial opinion to declare that any particular pro-gay organization—or film festival or community center or support group—was a "foreign agent" (spy!) and had to register as such, the law was changed this year so all it takes to declare a gay person or group to be a "foreign agent" is a government edict from some low-level bureaucrat—and such declarations can lead to criminal prosecutions for even modest legal errors. Worse, that same government is now putting pressure on many sectors of the economy—banks, landlords, employers, civic organizations—not to do business with anyone or any organization that has gays as members. And it's not just "pressure" like how the U.S. government's trying to pressure U.S. banks to stop dealing with "pornography"; since all forms of business in Russia require government-issued permits and licenses, if the businesses don't openly discriminate against gays, they can soon find themselves out of business for lack of official documentation. And there's also a bill being considered in the Russian Duma (parliament) that would remove children from homes where one or more family members are gay. Now that's something the American Family Association can get behind! (Figuratively, that is...) And does it ever! Or, at least, its main media spokesman, Fischer, does. "'There are foreign policy and moral aspects to this'," Fischer quotes an as-yet-unidentified "political figure" as saying. "'We have been able to see many Euro-Atlantic countries effectively embark on a path of renouncing their roots, including Christian values, which underly Western civilization. That involves the negation of moral principles and any traditional identity, natural, cultural, religious or even sexual. Policies are pursued that put large families and same-sex partnerships in the same category. Belief in God and belief in Satan. Excesses of political correctness reach the point where there are serious discussions on the registration of parties that have propaganda of pedophilia as their objective. People in many European countries are ashamed and afraid of speaking about their religion, holidays are abolished or given other names. This is a direct path to degradation and primitiveness, to deep demographic and moral crises. What can be a better indication of a moral crisis in human society than its loss of the ability for self-reproduction.' "So which is it?" Fischer then asked. "Which president is the lion of Christianity, the defender of Christian values? The president that's calling his nation back to embracing its identity of a nation founded on Christian values? Those, ladies and gentlemen, are quotes from Vladimir Putin, the president of Russia. The contrast between that president and our president could not possibly be more striking; just a bizarre day to ever think we would get to the day where Russia would be more advanced spiritually than the United States. I mean, it's just staggering to see what's happening to this country." Um... Putin a "lion of Christianity"? Russia, a "nation founded on Christian values"?!?!? Yeah, those czars were all over Jesus—at the same time they were violently oppressing the common folk, who were usually starving and, thanks to Nicholas II's gearing up for WWI, suffering from outrageous inflation! Russia, "more advanced spiritually than the United States"?!?!? Yep, that would be a "bizarre day," considering how much religious horseshit is continually spouted by just about every Republican and, sadly, not a few Democrats in Congress, not to mention President Obama actually taking part in national "days of prayer"—and not to mention the thousands of religio-conservative groups dotting the media landscape! (And as long as we're talking about how immoral a country we've become, Bryan, why do you suppose Townhall.com, the "bloated organ" of the ultraconservative Heritage Foundation, saw fit to email-blast its subscribers with an ad for this?) And let's not forget that the "Excesses of political correctness reach the point where there are serious discussions on the registration of parties that have propaganda of pedophilia as their objective." Putin, of course, is referring to gays, who hardly are fighting to legalize pedophilia; they just want to live their lives without being considered spies and traitors just because of their same-sex attractions! And speaking of pedophilia (or, really, anything having to do with sex), there's pornography! Bad, bad, bad pornography! In fact, Voice of Russia (VR) radio recently had one of its DJs, Ric Young, interview anti-porn activists Dr. Gail Dines and former risqué photographer Donny Pauling, both of whom also recently spoke at Morality in Media's anti-porn conference in Virginia. Fischer, the guy who seems to be spearheading the Religious Right's pro-Russia turn, has been a nutcase from the get-go, as one can tell from some of his early articles, but in early May, he turned his attention to "profanity, obscenity, vulgarity [and] pornography," none of which, he claimed, are legal under the First Amendment. "I want to make it clear, I'm not endorsing everything Vladimir Putin does; I need to issue that caveat right up front," Fischer said on May 6, adding that Putin was "right about homosexuality and he is right about profanity. "The reality is, we could institute a ban on profanity—or blasphemy, for that matter—without violating the First Amendment," Fischer declared. "A ban on profanity is not a violation of the First Amendment. Why? Because the First Amendment was crafted by the Founders to protect political speech. It wasn't written to protect profanity, obscenity, vulgarity or pornography... So the Founders, I think—I mean, I'm convinced; I don't think; I know it—they'd be absolutely aghast at the thought that anybody, anywhere, at any time would think, even entertain the possibility, that they were crafting a document that would allow the unlimited use of the f-bomb in polite society." He's wrong, of course. A study of states' early speech laws by attorney Eugene Volokh found that, "There was only one state law banning pornography, and that appears to have been unenforced until 1821," roughly 30 years after the ratification of the Constitution. Moreover, "marriage guides" featuring copious illustrations to help newly-marrieds consummate their union were all over the colonies and the fledgling U.S., and most people didn't care about profanity or vulgarity. If they saw it and didn't like it, they just ignored it. On the other hand, Fischer, in a column that expands on his net-televised thoughts, claims that, "Such laws were rarely enforced because they were rarely needed. But they were there because there are occasions in which public eruptions of vulgarity need to be restrained for the public good." But, apparently, not for 30 years after the Constitution was ratified. As some sort of alleged "proof" of his point, Fischer approvingly cites a recommendation—not a "general order," as Fischer claims—that George Washington gave to his troops, in which Washington "hopes" that his officers, "by example as well as influence," refrain from "the foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing." Why Fischer gives Putin his "top props" is that, the day prior to Fischer's broadcast, Putin had signed a law banning "all swearing in films, television broadcasts, theatres and the media," with fines of as much as $1,400 for organizations and $70 for individuals who broke the ban. That law is set to go into effect on July 1. "In swearing, as in so many things, Putin is trying to turn back the clock," noted Melissa Mohr, author of the recent book Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing. “Banning swearwords harks back to the glory days of the USSR, and at the same time deprives his opponents of an effective means of criticism—nothing communicates strong opposition like a well-placed [expletive]." And in case you're wondering how Putin will effect his crackdown on swear-words... "According to the BBC, Swearbot is a computer program that will go live before the end of this year and root out online obscenity," claimed Terrence McCoy in the Washington Post. "The Russian newspaper Izvestia reported that the program is in its final stages and will begin with texts, then perhaps scrutinize Russian audio and video. Its implementation will lighten the load on Russia’s media watchdog Roskomnadzor, where employees keep tabs on 5,000 websites." Among the "dirty words" (generically, "mat") that it'll be looking for: khuy ("cock"), ebat ("to fuck"), blyad ("whore") and pizda ("cunt"). Way to keep that bottom-tier rank of 148 (out of 179 countries scored) on Reporters Without Borders' Press Freedom Index! But after all, what does Bryan Fischer care about press freedom? Moving on... you may have heard stories—probably from the Bible—about Jesus throwing the moneylenders out of his temple, how he fed 5,000 people with just a couple of fish and loaves of bread, and how he changed water into wine at a wedding—not to mention how hard it is for a rich guy to enter the Kingdom of Heaven? (Think camel/needle's eye.) Well, forget all that, because according to the Elder Prophet Bryan Fischer, "Jesus was a capitalist to his core"! See, according to Matthew 25:14-30, a passage about a situation of which Jesus supposedly would have approved, a rich guy gave three of his servants a bunch of money while he was traveling. To the first, he gave five "talents" (the ancient money kind, not the ability kind, each of which was equivalent to 130 pounds of gold, or a bit over $2.6 million at today's prices, so servant #1 got about 12 million buckaroos), to the second he gave two, and to the third he gave one. However, when he came back, he found that the first two servants had each doubled their money, but the third didn't—so he took that third guy's single talent and gave it to the servant with 10. So forget everything else Jesus supposedly taught: for Fischer, that story is Jesus' essence! In case anyone's wondering where this outburst of capitalist angst originated, it's because about a week before Fischer's screed was published, Pope Francis gave a speech at the U.N. calling for "the legitimate redistribution of economic benefits by the state, as well as indispensable cooperation between the private sector and civil society." "In the case of global political and economic organization, much more needs to be achieved, since an important part of humanity does not share in the benefits of progress and is in fact relegated to the status of second-class citizens," the Pope said. "Specifically, this involves challenging all forms of injustice and resisting the 'economy of exclusion', the 'throwaway culture' and the 'culture of death' which nowadays sadly risk becoming passively accepted... Today, in concrete terms, an awareness of the dignity of each of our brothers and sisters whose life is sacred and inviolable from conception to natural death must lead us to share with complete freedom the goods which God’s providence has placed in our hands, material goods but also intellectual and spiritual ones, and to give back generously and lavishly whatever we may have earlier unjustly refused to others." There's only one label you can apply to a guy who takes those positions: SOCIALIST!!! And Fischer, who avoids using that word to describe the Pope's philosophy, nonetheless accuses "liberals" of practicing the Marxian philosophy of "from each according to his ability; to each according to his need"—exactly the opposite of what Jesus did in the "talent" parable! "What Jesus taught is that the redistribution of wealth is to be entirely voluntary, motivated by personal generosity and compassion and directed to the worthy poor," Fischer sums up. "There’s no hint in Christianity of any kind of support for the involuntary transfer of wealth through government coercion... Bottom line: Jesus, as much as liberals hate to admit it, had capitalism in his DNA." Isn't it great what you can "prove" when you cherry-pick one story out of the roughly 70 books of the Bible? Like, f'r'instance, Luke 3:11—"He that hath two coats, let him impart [give] to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise." But hey; when you're a idiot working for an organization staffed from top to bottom with idiots, what can anyone expect?